You know what’s paradoxical about being an introvert? Well, at least for this introvert. There’s something peaceful and scary about being alone.
As an introvert, I’m naturally drawn to having quiet moments for myself where I am not obliged to talk to anyone. I like the feeling of not having to think about what to say to someone else just to prevent them from feeling uncomfortable. I relish in moments where I can do things on my own terms without having to think about anybody else. I treasure these instances where I can focus on nothing else but my self.
But there are days when I also dread having to walk in an establishment on my own. And I am definitely not romanticising this feeling. It’s just sometimes I feel like being on my own attracts more attention from other people. Whether it’s out of pity or out of convenience, I’ve observed that others become more friendly when I’m alone. But don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture and I don’t have any problem with making conversations with random strangers. My main issue is when they try to be “too friendly” with me. Maybe it really is a personal thing because I don’t warm up to others that easily.
So imagine my struggle in constantly trying to strike a balance between finding peace with being alone and being ok with interacting with others as well. But I guess this kind of uncomfortable feeling is a good thing as long as I know that there’s a part of me that I’m trying to improve.
Now wish me luck in my attempt to battle this internal paradox as I brave another alone session in the gym!